Pieces of Heaven

 Pieces of heaven the past few days—

• snowshoeing
• sunshine glistening on the snow
• sunrises and sunsets
• seeing people who are important to me, good
• different food
• warm clothes and fires and hot chocolate
• games with family
• pictures with my brother
• hugs from family, driving
• passing MN teaching licensure tests
• finishing details for next week’s trip
• YMCA, laughing really hard
• texting/calling people stateside
• pauses
• Christmas tree, gift-giving in the usual fashion
• Christmas Eve service
• singing
• reflection and realizations
• playing guitar with my dad and brother late into the night...

Not-so-glad--gray skies, weird sleeping schedule and sugar hang-overs, freeeezing, darkness, dr.’s appts., mixing old and new/contexts causing weird memory floods, random misunderstandings...but even the not-so-awesome is part of the whole, and I'm grateful.

Breath of Heaven

“Breath of Heaven,” when Karen sang it in church, got me thinking again about those I know who are pregnant unexpectedly and how difficult that season must be. The waiting, period, if you want a child must be terribly difficult, and how much more when you feel lost or alone and in need of so much support that is so difficult to give. Reading, then, again and again, the Christmas story and John 1, I am baffled by Mary and her relationship with God, that same paradox of His infinite and intimate nature. She had to know God in a way that no one else has, by the end. 

Her initial response, a confused, “How will this be?” is much calmer than mine (perhaps, it's a personality thing). I think I would freeze and then exclaim, “You’ve got to be kidding me! There’s no way! What?! Why?!” and feel like I got punched in the gut. I’m now much older than she; maybe when I was pegged as Miss Spiritual, I could have had that humility, but I still hope that it would draw me to my knees in worship as it did, her. Mary’s identity was found in knowing who God is—I am God’s servant, let it be unto me just as you have said. Amen, Mary. Right view of self and God…how much strength is derived from this.

So, for each that is struggling with the load to bear and the uncertainty that is the future, it is the breath of heaven, the Holy Spirit of the Most High God that holds us together.  

I am called: God’s child, his bride, a Christian, servant of God…

… declaring the Lordship of the Savior who came as a baby and demonstrated his glory through such things as changing water to wine and who breaks the chains of sin and death and turns things upside down and inside out, freedom in submission to one who is supremely good—He is love. This is love—that He loves us and gave himself for us… Immanuel—so crazy!

Do I always feel these connections coursing through me and bubbling like a little girl in Sunday School? Not in the slightest. I am often calloused, critical or confused, but the stopping and declaring of what is true beyond myself is a beautiful thing. Come, Thou Fount of every blessing, tune my heart to sing thy praise…

Pico Blanco glory :)

Sooo excited even early in the morning!

 

Views along the way ... don't have a lot to show from the slippery parts in the jungle or the loose rock on the way down, but it was one of the most diverse hikes I could have imagined. Thankful.

Tensions and Abounding Joy II

The abounding joy part comes in little bursts and simple pleasures and deep-seated stirrings and encounters with the Divine.

For example:

·      skype conversations that I had been meaning to have/waiting on for a while that happened and refreshed me by making me laugh or by sharing deeply or just had the regular feel

·      Finishing writing the oh-so-frustrating convocatoria tests, tutoring a student and real conversations and kind words from a few of the girls

·      Feeling supported and cared-for by co-workers/principal by food, emails, instruction, defense, questions

·      buying things we’ve been wanting/needing at the grocery store, eating bruschetta for dinner and baking for our neighbors

·      lazy-ish days and reading the Bible and other books, intercession

·      The Hunger Games with Kate and the Millikans. So much to like/chew on!

·      Things semi-working out in planning trips

·      Community service with the students and precious moments with the elderly—wheeling the wheel chairs, feeding, listening, pictures, being

·      A kind guy doing hurdles who helped me figure out how to get into the track bahaha and morning swims

·      Delicious tea from the tea shop where Kate worked in Columbus, OH

·      Being prayed-for in church

And the best-est was hiking yesterday. It was so glorious! Refreshing for the soul, invigorating for the body, delightful for the eyes, encouraging for the social element, overall lovely weather-wise, and fulfilling as an awaited small goal.

We hiked Pico-Blanco yesterday with a large-ish group of people—teenagers to parents, and we had been waiting for months! (Was very glad we waited until after rainy season, because the jungle portions were still slickery.)

Made the special packed pancakes and had some coffee so we wouldn’t be hungry and left by 6 or so in the caravan. We were dropped off where the road ends in Escazu and began the ascent by climbing over a fence and traipsing through someone’s yard up through a field. It was pretty steep most of the way and nice to go at a pretty steady pace or go quickly and take breaks to wait for everyone and take in the views of the hills, mountains and central valley. 

Each section was different, and I loved noticing the variety of plants, flowers, birds, lizards, rocks and even bugs (bee-like creatures, not so thankful because Savanna and I got stung and were certain of imminent doom like the tracker jackers ; )).

We hiked in and out of what felt like savanna, deciduous forest, bluffs and jungle, so we would see rocky outcroppings and caves, pine trees, vines and moss-covered trees, blooming plants and fallen trees, light playing on the far hills and peaking into the forest or spilling into a clearing, the wind would tickle your neck and then nearly blow you off the peak. 

Each of these steps reminds me of how very human I am and how wonderful my Creator is. What more glorious worship than reflecting on the psalms during our hike and being what we were made to be within the grander scheme of things? 

(pictures to follow)

Tensions and Abounding Joy

1. I feel both really close to my middle schoolers/relate with their stage of life/feel as though I may not have left and incredibly distanced/what in the world are they thinking?/I’m so old and never have been “with it” . . .

They also take me for a ride with their ever-changing emotions, making me laugh and encouraging me or infuriating me and wearing me out.

Both last Friday and this past Friday were great reminders that I really am thankful for La Palabra de Vida and do really like the students here.

In fact, I love my students—I kept saying “I love seventh grade,” and “You guys crack me up!” during our paseo the other week. It’s strange how God puts these things in your heart.

I got to spend the day with the seventh graders for their last day of “school” after exams finished at a recreational area a ways a way from here where there was a fishing pond, picnic pavilions, playgrounds, pools, soccer fields, etc. 

They impressed me by including everyone throughout the day, joking, laughing, taking pictures, jumping into the pool together, playing on the playground, sharing food, and opening up some. It was precious. And they gave me our sign for silence which we adapted from the “thanks, admiration, and goodbye” salute. Even got a goodie bag and engraved pen from the parents/kids jaja.

This Friday we (high school faculty) took the high school—whoever wanted to, which ended up being nearly 50 kids to the “hogar de ancianos” –“old people’s home” for the whole afternoon. They did great! It was interesting to see which students are the kind of people who make things happen/take initiative, which ask for directions, which wait for instruction, and which hesitate/hang on the outskirts the whole time. 

Some of them jumped right in and talked with some of the residents, and by the end of the day most had funny stories and were glad they came. The students helped serve and feed the residents tamales and coffee; they spent time walking them around, getting them settled for a performance, talking and listening, taking pictures and just being together. It was hard to see how some of those who live there are starved for quality care and attention, but at the same time many of the staff are really great. It gave me joy to facilitate the students helping and passing out gifts and goodies (thanks for the toothbrushesJ) and helping people to open and light up at their gift. Some students were reluctant to leave!

Hope for more like this in the future.

2. Having been thinking about the need to be intentional, give thanks, and live the moments we’re given while we get into planning mode, I was challenged, obviously, and the week flew and took me with it, without a real sense of purpose/accomplishment or joy. Found tension, though in the back and forth and the smaller moments and letting go. 

3.   Espera. Hope.Wait.Wishfor. God can decide to heal today, tomorrow, or for eternity, and the real hope lies deeper. Thinking of my own health and sin issues and the call to intercede for so many that I personally know going through physical/emotional struggles as well as the larger/systematic injustices that weigh heavily no matter where you go in the world. Today in the charla, the speaker mentioned the ya pero todavía no, and I love that part of theology and the truth of the kingdom. Even this morning when I got done swimming I was recalling the song and passage about our everlasting God. 

…Here and trying to finish things for the year, be ready for Em’s visit and a visit home and fam’s visit here—all of which I am incredibly excited about and a little bit nervous for. …Figuring out rest and go. Holding out until the next time I see people now that it is increasingly becoming a huge question mark.

Rom. 8, Psalm 8, 46, 95